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~me~ at 5:17 PM umm... this damn layout aint working...
~me~ at 8:21 PM my handphone is gone since 20th February and shall be gone till 20th March dont msg me, you will waste a couple of cents.
La salle turned out a disappointment, on saturday, and so we made the rest of the day fun on its own by doing nothing at all. (had a drinking competition using fruit juice we bought in cartons, i won.)
Bought a couple of things, black skirt, 2 black tops and yeah a wrist band. Wasted money, gonna run out of it soon.
Tomorrow theres school.
I wanna die.
Bored.
~me~ at 9:08 PM Been having freaking CA tests and im screwed till being screwed can never be explained. The kc english marking system is so high that theres a high high high possibility that i am gonng fail my english. How screwed am i? I NEVER ever fail english!!
Havent had the time since monday to come online to type shit here because i have either been banned from the net on that day, i was "busy" doing what i call studying yet you might call, fooling around or i was too tired to wait an hour for this useless computer to set up, connect and sign in.
Tomorrow theres a Chemistry test and i wonder whats going to happen, i can tell you, i have failed my Biology, my Maths and possibly my fucking english!
I seriously think i should shut up and really buck up now, i mean, its all good that ive been fooling around, day dreaming, slacking and all but if i slack any longer, i can say that i am going to die...
The teachers have been threateningly telling us that some of us deserve to drop to NA stream, hopefully her lecture wasnt aimed partiaully at me, i CANNOT drop!!! i mean its not that i have anything against NA students or NA people but i just cant drop, if i was in NA at the start from the time i came back to this country then thats a different story but for someone to drop from express to NA, their freaking pride or ego or whatever would be freaking shattered or if not other peoples mine would...
Oh well, yes i had better pull my freaking self together now shouldnt i? YES... enough play, not that me fooling around and aimlessly day dreaming had gotten me anywhere or anything...
Oh well screw that...
I shall start afresh from next week since the CA's are over and i can stop studying for them but start on the new chapters.
~me~ at 9:23 PM Oh the Mtv awards thingy was ohkay, an alright alternative to spending Valentines day alone or with a date you dont even like in that way. So yeah, but the only performance i actually enjoyed was simple plans. The rest kinda sucked.
Me and my friends were screaming for the sake of screaming then the woman in front looked at us weirdly and we just started to scream in her ear. God we are so mean, her boyfriend/husband/friend/whatever was covering his ears because of us! Man im damn surprised we didnt get a sorethroat the next day... Which we wanted to get but oh well.
Got interviewed by some Thai television reporter which was cool so yeah, we were on Thai tv! Not that we will ever get to see that but oh well...
Oh ya forgot to tell you who i went with, well there was Danielle, Tanya, Kaimana [dont know if its spelt the right way, but i just met her so its excusable], Mathew and Graham! :P so yeah... fun fun fun...
Met up with a couple of other people after the show...
Went mad...
Ate Mc Flurry Oreo...
Went out to the road to flag a cab close to mid night...
Tripped on my heels while walking to the cab [i hate heels but i need to learn to walk in them]...
Sent a totally fucking stupid message to someone which made me want to strangle myself for doing...
Tried to straighten it out...
Went home...
Fell asleep...
And that was my Valentines day...
I swear if Blink comes to singapore i WILL get their tickets because im dying to go to a real concert. Life is so boring now although it seems to be getting more fun than last year so yeah, cool enough but i WANT Blink to come down NOW!!!
ohkay well... thats all for today although all i did was talk bout a day that happened 2 days ago but yeah, nothing much happened on the Sunday nor today so yeah, forget it...
I'll catch y'all some other time...
*Gonna say this again... i swear Blink has to come down!!!
~me~ at 6:53 PM Yesterday was talking shit with this guy called justin on the phone, hes a complete freak man. It was freaking hot yesterday, so i was happily or rather irritatedly complaining bout the weather, "I'm so hot!" Then that shit was like "Thick skinned sia..."
I was like, oh my god ya, i mean, i always knew it sounded like that but then, not many people use the word 'hot' as in hhooottt... last time but now it has a frequent usage in my vocab, 'he's so freaking hot ok!', haha yeah well..
Anyway, after awhile he was like 'i'm so hot!' what a freak right, he just commented on me saying it, then he was like 'no no not that hot, i am so temperature hot!' its like wtf, hahaha, seriously right?
"I am so temperature hot!" <<< who says that in that way, anyway it sounds so... stupid, hahaha... I mean, its like 'hey, im temperature hot' like wtf right? Its as if when its 36 degrees he will be '36 degrees hot' and when its cold that means hes not 'hot.'
Ohkay ohkay, not funny but it seriously was at the time, hahaha... =)
Ohkay whatever... its not funny, i know, you dont need to remind me.
K anyway, then we played truant yesterday from social studies remedial, we skipped it but then kc still calls it truancy. When the teacher walked in the front door then three of us; Anmari, Siwei and me, ran out the back door. Fucking scary man, we almost died. She saw us!! We wrote her a terribly informal note, left it in her pigeon shit hole and left... ["teehehe"ok what the fuck]
We came to school prepared to be brutally slaughtered today but then all that woman said was "Oh you two were not present at the remedial yesterday right? Oh well, its good that you left me a note but then please tell me before hand next time ok?"
My goddamn mouth basically dropped, goddamnit, we were so scared that we almost thought of owning up...
Freakster anyway, yeah that was it...
Kk, today, there was nothing much, got scolding from a teacher for talking and sleeping, somebody didnt go to school. Saint pats had their cross country today at that Mac Ritchie place or something...
I feel so slacking and fuck... Saturday is Valentines = b.o.r.i.n.g... Next week is common tests = double b.o.r.i.n.g
Oh well, ready for the killing? YEAh!
Ohkay well we'll see ya...
Ciao
Ps/ um... i like this song too...
~ Artist: All American Rejects ~ Title: One More Sad Song ~
One boy, one girl, two hearts, their world
Time goes by, secrets rise
One more, sad song, tears shed, she's gone
She'd take it back, if she only could
All the perfect words they seem so wrong,
She's gone
You wish that you could learn to see,
The door is closed and yo wish you could be
Alone with you, alone with me
What can I do, I can not breath
My heart is torn, for all to see
Alone with you, alone with me.
Best friend, worst thing, she's been, cheating
Friend deceives, she leaves
Last date. she cries, whispers, goodbye
She walks once more, out that door
Please stay, don't go away
The hardest thing is letting go of you
Stay, don't go away
The hardest thing is letting go of you
what can I do?
Alone with you, alone with me, what can I do
I can not see, alone with, alone with...
~me~ at 6:53 PM Where am i going on Valentines day?!
I'm going to the MTV asia awards shit, man....
Wooooooo.............................
Yay! Cool shit hey, i mean, i cant find anyone i would accept as my date who have already asked me so yup at least i have got somewhere to go man...
It better be as time worthy as i have heard it to be...
~me~ at 8:37 PM Yes, this is a nice song, although i know its quite old but for all y'all who dunno it well then yeah, go download it. Anyway, cant find new nice songs to listen to because my stupid computer soundcard is screwed and i cant listen to nothing except old burnt cd's. Yeah so pity me please...!
~Artist: All American Rejects ~Title: My Paper Heart ~
Please just don't play with me My paper heart will bleed
This wait for destiny won't do
Be with me please I beseach you
Simple things, that make you run a-way
Catch you if I can
Tears fall, down your face
The taste, is something new
Something that I know
Moving on is, easiest when I am around you.
So bottle up old love,
And throw it out to sea,
Watch it away as you cry
Now a year has past
The seasons go
Please just don't play with me
My paper heart will bleed
This wait for destiny won't do
Be with me please I beseach you
Simple things, that make you run a-way
Catch you if I can
Waiting, day to day it goes through
My lips, are sealed for her
My tongue is,
Tied to, a dream of being with you
To settle for less, is not what I prefer
Summer time, the nights are so long
The leaves fall down, and so do I into
the arms of a friend
Winter nights
My bedside is cold, for I am gone
And spring blossoms you to me
~me~ at 8:32 PM Its my party and i'd cry if i want to...
~me~ at 9:24 PM My birthday tomorrow... well, i dont feel like it is, aint gonna have anything special and yeah... um... boring........
~me~ at 11:55 PM
Anyway, more than enough people have been willing to turn into teachers to teach me so "Yippee" for me.
I went back home at around 8+ and i realise that i think i'm gonna be getting alot more freedom on friday nights so i can watch them all skate then. How fun and soon i'll be comfortable enough to watch them.
So yeah, i'm happy. It seems like we're all in the same "clique" automatically in a weird way. But yeah they're cool so yeah that was my day yesterday.
Today? Well, i'm planning to stay at home the whole day today. Tomorrows my birhtday and im gonna turn fifteen soon but then i still feel fourteen. Gee... time flies.
But then hate birthdays so its not a big deal for me at all.
Anyway yeah, what a boring life i have eh...
Valentines day is near... how "eXcItInG"...
~me~ at 12:52 PM Well today was quite ordinary in a weirder unique way. Went to school, chatting the whole way so that was fun, found someone who went to Aussie-land, Perth, too to study so its nice to see a fellow migrater. Haha ohkay that came out weirdly.
But hey ya, its nice to find someone from perth too rather than bisbane or melbourne or somewhere east of australia.
Anyway, died in school, last night found out alot of things that made me unable to sleep so that affected the way today turned out.
Was lying on my deck for some reason last night, found it fun right up until i tried to get up and scraped my back with the "nail file" like deck top. So yeah, dont try it at home... Wat the fuck...
Ohkay, after school, met Russel, Timothy [Anmari's Boyfriend], Justin and Graham! Went to siglap to eat a bit then took bus back to pasir ris together... but Justin like went home, i think he like lives in Simei or something.
Hung out awhile more and then went home.
I dont know bout you but i found this day, unnaturally unbalanced and odd in a weird way. ?! Ohkay whatever, nevermind, so yeah that was the most uninteresting and fucked up entry ive written since dont know when anyway, bear with me, it was actually quite an interested day yet i just dont have the mood to type it in an interesting way now so yeah
~me~ at 8:06 PM Yeah had quite a fun time yesterday. Went to that audition thing for the fun of going. I dont think i got in because i, myself dont walk well in heels, so yeah they asked me if i would mind being the host. "Hell yeah!" How cool would that be?! Hosting a show?! Its like when i'm older and i wanna be a reporter i can say as experienced that i hosted a show man. Will kick ass i should think...
Yeah anyway, thats cool, realised that walking the cat walk is actually damn hard so yeah, aint no easy thing...
After that went home. My mom's wonderful doing again, i could have gone to orchard and shopped or something but didnt. Why?! Because of the simple fact that she wanted me home because shes just like that. Loves to see me in misery.
I left my house around 6+ to go to town and meet my friends.
[What my mom thought: i was at a girl called michelles birthday party.]
Town was fucking crowded, because of the stupid chingay. Its so lame that parade, maybe only because that was the thing that kinda spoilt a nice day but oh well. Two people actually scolded me man because i was "pushing" them. Its a fucking crowded place, everyone is pushing, dont come with your bullshit that you arent pushing! Because i know you are! If you were so high and you cant have me touching your precious clothes that maybe contaminated with asian dna, well then maybe you should go home and burn them and maybe you should join the kkk and maybe you should go home as in balek kampong!! bastard!
Arguement with some ang mo bastard who thinks he is so high and superior to all around him just because hes some ugly dude with natural blond hair...
bastard: "Can you stop pushing?!?!?!"
me: "Well people behind are pushing!"
bastard: "well tell them to stop!"
me: "Its a crowded place, everybody pushes!"
bastard: "Well, i'm not pushing!"
me: "Well people behind are!!!!"
bastard: [mumbles some shit]
me: "arrogant bastard" [mumbles to my friend]
What the fuck right?! If people are pushing me, can i help but kinda push you?! Its not as if you fell down and smashed your oh so pointy european superior nose on the ground did you?! [i'm so sorry to the minority who arent racist and who have to hear this but if you were me and had to go through racism in australia then trust me! you would understand].
Anyway arguement number two! with some stupid cheena guy who thought maybe he could be some big boss around. That freak!
cheena: "Stop elbowing me!"
me: "I'm not!"
cheena: "Yes you are!"
me: "I should know whether i am or not, its not my elbow!!!"
cheena: "Well i saw you!"
me: "No you didnt! God! Its a crowded place!!!!! Everybody is pushing and elbowing! If you're not prepared for that them why come?!?!"
cheena: [silence]
me: "god whats wrong with some people? Have some problem with life or something?!"
passerby: "haha... just ignore him. He has a huge problem"
I laughed when the passerby said that, man, at least he was on my side. I just find some people around have a huge pole stuck up their damn asses and maybe they need someone to pull it out.
* * * * *
Had a complicated time going to Russel somethings house but got there in the end. I ended up being kinda embarassed because of something or other and yeah. Didnt do much there.
Tanya, Danielle, Anmari and me were super hyper. We ran down the street, bear footed, shouting. Went crazy like hell, lay down on the road laughing non stop. Basically we were drunk from drinking nothing at all...
there was this guy who was drunk at the party. he kept denying he was drunk but he was so obvious. weirdo. he tried to walk in a straight line but just couldnt. it was really really zig zagged. god, hope i dont talk so much rubbish to strangers if im drunk.
After that...
Kinda boring but yeah man, loved his room completely, i'm so jealous of it.
Hes got like this room with a tilted roof and graffitied walls thats costed him a bomb! God hes so damn lucky! How i wish i had such money and he had a whole drum set and stuff man.
God.... wish that was my room.
Yeah and i reached home 12+, the latest ive reached home from anywhere, and yeah that was my day...
It was fun but in a screwed up way man. But i wouldnt mind doing it again. I ran around in heels and stuff, i mean who does that. I have so many little details to write about yesterday but i really couldnt be bothered. This is just a rough summary. So if it sounded dull and boring well, at times it was because it was partially screwed and partially not so yeah.
Anyway, it was one of the most fun days i had this year so yeah im happy...
~me~ at 10:57 PM ohkay coming to terms with reality.
I have just realised that i swear too much nowadays man, i dont know why. Maybe its because everything that i seem to write in here is something i was frustrated about and it was never anything good. I dont know. I better cool it man.
Well, yeah i'm here again, nothing much to report on as usual, only little bits and pieces that dont concern you at all.
Today the gal next to me lost that gal in front of me's glue cover/lid/thing, yeah anyway, i was just there, patiently waiting for the cat fight to start and for me to somehow get involved yet not exactly do much to get myslef involved in it. But woo wee... it didnt, she seemed so forgiving today. Maybe she realised that god wants us to forgive and forget [ok that was lame] or maybe because the gal next to me was so apologetic that she insisted on buying her a totally new glue stick. But all that i know is that, the bitch fight didnt start, i didnt somehow end up getting part of the blame and yeah... school sucked.
Some stupid crow flew into my class today and hit the damn fan. What kind of stupidity is that?! Flying into a class and hitting a rotating solid, hard, thing stuck to the ceiling. This just shows that maybe some creatures were born with no brains. The girls screamed and ran, i was laughing and running because yeah i obviously didnt want it to fly onto my head or shit on me or anything. Its such a stupid thing...
Anyway yeah thats my day...
Fun hey?!
I wonder whats with some people and Valentines day? Why ask about it so early? I mean, we got a whole two weeks plus ahead so think about it, why make conclusions now. Anyway, this Valentines day will be err... i'm not sure, probably odd, actually i wonder how i'll spend it because basically the last Valentines days i had a boyfriend so that was obviously settled. Otherwise yeah, go with the flow, i'll just see...
Ohkay whatever... looky here, i managed not to say fuck in this whole entry apart from that last word but anyway. I'm so bored... Nothing much else to say...
Um... well see ya then...
~me~ at 7:57 PM you know what i scored for my satanic compo?! A fucking 12/30 ohkay!!!! my first time failing a damn compo!!! i felt like crying man... what the hell?! at the least i would normally get an 18 0r 19 but hell i would have passed, always... always till now... what the fuck is with the schools standard. Like everyone failed ohkay. I wouldnt have cared if i got a 15 but not a fucking fail!!
What the hell is up with that?
Seriously man... felt like crying... I NEVER fail!!!
Oh my god ohkay so i better chill it and shut up now.
God its so boring... i wish i could just die...
I'm so fed up with it all. Look at life... look at the people [one example in my old blog the tag board, that mattfromblogsurfing, what the fuck is up with him? can he leave other peoples fucked up lives along?!]... whats up with the whole world... where is the love man... hehehe... there is none!
Ohkay what the fuck is wrong with me? Nothing man...
Anyway... i hate the world... may it jst end right here right................... NOW! ohkay fine that didnt work.. what ever the hell... im going now... wasting my time writing as usual. wasted my time and yours but i have time i bet you dont. oh im so sorry...
Anyway since you're already here... good night, sweet dreams, take care..
Ohkay whatever, cut the mushy shit and yeah bye...
~me~ at 10:37 PM Went skating today, with some people from school, had quite an ohkay sum of fun... Realise it wasnt so bad learning but then again, kinda still sucked at it. Need practice but it was quite fun.
I mean apart from being damn slow thanks to having to carry my wallet and handphone in my hand all the way and because of these two objects i was being extra cautious about falling which made me even more slow but other than that, it was cool, quite ohkay.
But oh man, the weather just sucked! It was raining... what a day to rain man. Just when we decide to go skating, so unfortunate. I hope the damn trucks and bearings dont rust otherwise i'll just die...
Fucking $193 bucks man anyway, that was my day, just so y'all will get familiar with the names of the people i skate with, there was Danielle, Hobday, Tanya, Benny and Nigel. Those are the main ones that will most probably be mentioned again so yeah, this is where they first came in.
Ohkay whatever anyway, i'm so happy its the holiday, so so happy but it seems that this stupid holiday will be over just like that and before i know it, i'll be going back to school. And there are no next holidays as long as this one, which although its 2 extra off days from school but still their holidays...
Oh man, i hate school, never want to go back...
I just want to complain like hell about school again but i better not or i will never ever get use to going back to school...
Ohkay i have a feeling that this entry doesnt exactly makes sense, well then, i'm sorry because im inna i couldnt give a fuck mood for some reason so i'll see y'all tomorrow or what ohkay...
bye
ps/ i think i know why im in this what the fuck mood now, its because theres once AGAIN some shitass problem with this shitass computer. I really hate it... I mean didnt we just fix this fucking thing?! Didnt we?!?!?! Stupid piece of shit, seriously, i feel like killing it and i would if i had the money to buy another one... but what the fuck man right?! We just fixed it! We just fixed you, you shitass motherfucking thing! but no............... you must give problem again... once AGAIN...
ohkay fine, just forget it, i'm losing it...
[Haha... oh my god, i think i really am]
~me~ at 10:32 PM Managed to skip school yesterday again which was great because yeah, somehow it was better than going and watching some stupid concert in school. I heard that 20/40+ people in my class didnt turn up yesterday so yeah, that makes it half the damn class absent so well done to all my fellow classmates for now showing up. It just shows who are the geeks and who aint. And who kick ass and who doesnt. And who is goody goody and who isnt and... Ohkay kimberly, shut up.
Aha anyway, had steamboat for reunion dinner, quite nice i must say. Quite enjoyed it...
After that went to Tara's friends chalet which turned out kinda boring but nevermind, met a few people there so it was... ohkay i guess. But then... come to think of it, it was boring. I have nothing good to say about it, maybe only the meeting some people part but then otherwise it was still boring. We dint do nothing but ohkay forget it at least i got out of the house right? Yes but then again come to think of it i'd have rather stayed at home and used the computer but ohkay forget it, lets drop this subject man...
Heres for today, its about almost 1130 in the morning and i already collected $64+ i think. To all those cheena, chinese people out there, yes i know my sum of money is a pathetic collection but hey! my mom only has one brutha and no other siblings, my fathers side dont really celebrate and so please realise that y'all are chinese and i aint. Eurasians arent so enthusiastic. So yeah, y'all better like collect over 200 bucks man.
Anyway gonna go out with my family today, not too sure of the plans but aha yeah i think it wont be too bad people. Yeah so its not even really the afternoon and yet i already have stuff to type, how cool is that man... It aint such a boring day after all.
Gonna be skating tomorrow, wish me luck y'all. Man, i'm gonna die but oh well, let it be an honourable death. Ohkay what the fuck...
Anyway before i go, happy cheena new year to all y'all people celebrating k?
Ciao
ps/ um... ohkay although i still love blinks music but i decided to put in some lyrics from some other band. Because i find that it will get boring if i always put in the same bands lyrics over and over. I like this song by Dashboard Confessional called "So long sweet summers" but then i cant find the lyrics, how shittish man. How can they not have the lyrics?! So decided to put in another song by Dashboard so yeah... what else? um... nothing i guess except yeah enjoy.
~Artist: Dashboard Confessional~ Album: The Places You Have Come To Fear The Most~ Title: Screaming Infidelities~
I'm missing your bed
I never sleep
Avoiding the spots where we'd have to speak,
And this bottle of beast
Is taking me home
I'm cuddling close
To blankets and sheets
But you're not alone, and you're not discreet
Make sure i know who's taking you home.
I'm reading your note over again
There's not a word that i comprehend,
Except when you signed it
"i will love you always and forever."
Well as for now i'm gonna hear the saddest songs
And sit alone and wonder
How you're making out
But as for me, i wish that i were anywhere with anyone
Making out.
I'm missing your laugh
How did it break?
And when did your eyes begin to look fake?
I hope you're as happy as you 're pretending.
I am alone
In my defeat i wish i knew you were safely at home
I'm missing your bed
I never sleep
Avoiding the spots where we'd have speak, and
This bottle of beast is taking me home.
Your hair, it's everywhere.
Screaming infidelities
And taking its wear.
[repeat four times]
~me~ at 11:28 AM Stayed at home today, far away from the complications and bitchiness of school. I dont want them to see me today or rather i dont want to see them today. Let it be a day where i have no contact with "those" people.
I dont know what drove me to picking this day to fake it sick and stay at home, i guess for one thing i didnt want to do P.E today especially for i find it is useless. I cant run because my school shoes are too loose and they always fall out. I dont want to play any sports in particular because it seems that i'm the only one who wants to be enthusiastic about it. I mean, no one else puts effort and even when i put in the slightest insy little effort on my part, i can beat those little effortless people by a mile. There just isnt enough competition in my class that makes me eager to do P.E. So thats basically the most major reason why i didnt want to go school in particular today.
The other reason or reasons are that theres a chem test and although i know i'll pass it because the topic is an easy topic but then i'm just simply not in the mood for it today. And the last but not least reason is that i just had to get away from the quarrels, bitchiness and noise of my class so yeah, here i am, back where i started...
Nothing great so far, now back at school my wonderful classmates should be still sitting sweating in the hall trying to get through their assembly without dying or getting caught for low belts, hair pins, hair ties, socks, shoes, blah blah blah etc etc. They should watch out more today because i'm not there to distract the teachers attention. While here i am, enjoying Blink's music and slacking like a slacker should be...
So far i still consider the day young so all i did was wake up, eat a bun with sausages, try out my skateboard in my small cramped up house and come here to this website to type out the meaningless things i did today that would not mean much to all y'all readers.
I realised that i now know roughly how to turn my well treasured skateboard. And i learnt that right here in my own little house. I just went back and forth back and forth... zoom... zoom... zoom...
I bet the neighbours downstairs got irritated for that few minutes but i dont give a damn. Anyway, kinda happy that i figured it out, at least i wont be as pathetic as i expected to be... I think i'll still be pathetic but then again not as pathetic as before.
Chinese new year is coming?! So? Like what has that got to do with anything? Um... i dont give much of a damn about it anyway... Not say i'll get a heap of money from people or anything, basically just gonna be celebrating it on my mothers side so yeah, if theres no party then there shall be no money. Either way i probably just get like what? A miserable $30 at the least. Oh well, never really depended on this celebration for much money income... I'm jus happy i have an extra two days clumped up to form a long weekend but i bet it will end faster than anything. Oh well, one more day of school, tomorrow, to bear with till the 4 day weekend. I think i'll live dont you?!
ps/ um... i dont care gonna put some lyrics on. Yeah, um... like this song too. Actually love the whole new album by Blink so aha... guess most of the lyrics i put on are gonna be by them...
~ Artist: Blink 182 ~ Title: Easy Target ~
All her signals are getting lost in the ether, she's a landslide with a city beneath her
So take a good look, so you'll never forget it (That's what she wanted)
Take a deep breath, I know I'm gonna regret it (That's what she wanted)
Holly's looking dry looking for an easy target
Let her slit my throat give her ammo if she'll use it
Caution on the road lies lies and hidden danger.
Southern California's breeding mommy's little monster.
She's got a mission, and I'm collateral damage. (That's what she wanted)
She's the flower that you place on my casket. (That's what she wanted)
Savor the moment cause the memory's fleeting.
Take a photograph, as the last train is leaving.
Holly's looking dry looking for an easy target
Let her slit my throat give her ammo if she'll use it
Caution on the road lies lies and hidden danger.
Southern California's breeding mommy's little monster.
Better run run run run run (Holly let me out)
Better run run run run run (Holly let me out)
Better run run run run run (Holly let me out)
Better run run run run run run run (Holly let me out)
~me~ at 1:11 PM Went to school like a zombie as usual. Realised i didnt put enough gel in my hair to keep it looking neat, only being enlightened about it when i reached the school toilet but oh well, took a look around and realised, i'm in a girls school, looks dont matter...
Forgot to bring my literature book today, almost died, i was like hiding behind an exercise book the whole lesson because it was only one period but if she caught me with no text book i would have just died, as in stood up said "Sorry Mrs Devi, i forgot to bring" she would yell, she would scream, chuck a huge fit, and yeap, i'd have died just like that, right then and there, blood would have been spilled and just in that moment, snap! dead...
Ohkay what the fuck am i saying...?!
Boy, didnt know girls could be so bitchy, i mean, i'm a girl but then fuck it man. I didnt realise that girls could be so bitchy, i mean this girl in front of me was quarrelling with the girl next to me and there i was as the middle man or woman or girl or whatever... Tryna act cool, tryna mind my own business and not get involved but no.............
Of course the girl next to me would complain to me right?! I mean its just human nature and all i did was give little slight nods of the head so that i would satisfy her need of my response. But what i learnt today was that girls are just too damn bitchy nowadays. That girl in front, took it out on me in the end in that sort of fucked up way. Its like "I am fucked up with you too because you consoled her..."
Like what the fucking hell?! You stupid bitchass woman! You think i wanna be in this fucking school?! You think im enjoying the fucking ALL girls school life?! I hate it!!!! I hate y'all to hell all you shitass bitches of the lesbian and bisexual matigra! [sorry i dont mean any offence to y'all but like i dont know why i just needed to say that line].
What the fuck!!!!? I hate girls! They can never take anything sanely, they cant take jokes. Not even an insy lil joke... like what the fuck right?!
I mean, i know im overexaggerating now but fuck it... you dont know what i'm going through do you?! I hate the way they bitch, i hate the way they back stab, i hate the way they criticise, i hate the way they can give but they cant take [meaning they cant take jokes], i hate the way they suck up, i hate the way they are so goody goody two shoes, i hate the way they react to those little things, i hate the way they scream and shout, i hate the way they are so girly and most of all i hate the way that i dont fit in at all in anywhere...
They just dont know how much i despise most of them. They find out i wanna learn how to do guyish things and they laugh and scorn but HELL-LO, ladies! pel-lease... like shut the fuck up here aint it my life?! Ohkay anyway, forget about that little mishap there...
I went out with some dude from my cousins school, hes cute and all man! And moreover he's Catholic! We went to eat, guess where?! Swensens, like woah... he paid for it, bill came up to around $40. Then we walked around, you know those little cutey adidas shoes for little children that are so fucking cute, yeah... I said they were damn cute and you know what? He bought a pair, gave me one and kept the other. So nice right?! Anyway love them... He's nice and all, but then again, kinda arrogant because he's like some top athelete in swimming, was supposed to go to that sports school but dont know why he didnt.
But all in all, not really upset with being single. Single is the status of a person who is free to do anything she or he wants and thats what i am and i'm fine with that at the moment [till it comes to V day and i realise that i dont like anyone which is kinda sad but oh well, who cares?!].
Well that was my day, kinda long entry aint it today? Was thinking of putting in some song lyrics but then... Um... I guess firstly my entry is damn long already and secondly because i realise i have become close to a download station so i have decided not to add in song lyrics or at least for today. Anyway, see y'all soon.
~me~ at 7:07 PM Bought a Status skateboard today, quite nice but then... Costly... 193 bucks! But then again i'm happy with it.
Yeah man, i'm gonna learn how to skate, like can you believe it? I'm actually for real gonna learn, like in real life, not in my dreams but in real life man. Hahaha... ohkay im over exaggerating.
Went with kelly and desmond to church [olps 10 today]...
After church had lunch at pizza hut, yummy lasagne...
Split up...
Me and kelly went to orchard peninsula first...
Went to the wrong peninsula building like what the fuck right?! Theres peninsula plaza and another peninsula...
Finally found Spitfire, got a horrible look from the muhd boy when i asked about the decks and i was like what the fuck man, galz can be skaters too...
Got disappointed...
Went to far east, almost got lost on the way there [damn stupid]...
Went to sponge...
Talked to the attendant awhile, he started tryna scare me with how i'm gonna die when i skate because im gonna get alot of scars...
Looked for Hypno...
Decided there was nothing...
Went into liquid...
Realised it was connected to sponge...
Went to check my atm balance...
Was pissed because i found out there wasnt enough to buy the skate board...
Kelly lent me $20...
Went up, debated over it in front of the attendant and finally with so much hesitation i decided to go for it...
So... yeah baby, i own a skateboard... how cool is that man or at least its cool for me. I had to walk around orchard with the thing today and everyone was staring like "what the fuck is she doing with that." at least i was wearing jeans, imagine, i initially wanted to wear a skirt, how many evil and poserish looks would i get then but all in all... i was damn happy today so yeap... thank god for this day [wtf]
Anyway, wish me luck with the skating thing and yeah pray that i dont fall and break my leg or have any horrible scars because ima girl, dont wanna regret starting this thing right.
Nope so yeah man... hope i can get real good and all but as for now... pathetic, i cant even balance on the deck properly but will do it eventually. Anyway its late theres school tomorrow. How fucked up...
Anyway ciao... good night...
~me~ at 9:18 PM Skating... [as in skate boarding], issit it something suitable for girls to do?! I want to learn seriously and since i got people wanting to teach me, why not? But then what would people say? What would people think? Wannabe? Poser?
I've wanted to learn for ages and now that i have a chance why the hell am i thinking twice and hesitating?! I should go out right now and buy a deck at this moment. I mean fuck it, who gives a fuck what people think right, as long as i'm having fun and enjoying it but what if i break my leg? What if i get injured.
Ohkay, i think i should just stuff that and do it right?! Yes... Kim, you better do it before you regret it again like how you could have learnt to skate ages ago in Aussie but no......... you had to be shy, you had to be a coward and now heres your second chance so yup, you better shut the fuck up and take the risk and chances of embarassment and humiliation in front of people you dont even know. In front of people that could ruin your reputation. But who cares? Im going to do it so here we go...
I feel like going out and buying a deck now, like right now at this moment so that i can say, looky here people i OWN a deck. I'm going to be a skater [i'm not going to say skatergirl because that sounds fucking poser-rish]
Anyway, kinda excited to learn so yeah, wish me luck and all...
~me~ at 10:10 PM
*Artist: Blink 182 ~ Title: Stockholm Syndrome *
This is the first (thing I remember)
Now it's the last (thing left on my mind)
Afraid of the dark (do you hear me whisper)
An empty heart (replaced with paranoia)
Where do we go (life's temporary)
After we're gone (like new years resolutions)
Why is this hard (do you recognize me)
I know I'm wrong (but I can't help believing)
I'm so lost
I'm barely here
I wish I could explain myself
But words escape me
It's too late
To save me
You're too late
You're too late
You're cold with disappointment
While I'm drowning in the next room
The last contagious victim of this plague between us
I'm sick with apprehension
I'm crippled from exhaustion
And I dread the moment when you finally come to kill me
This is the first (thing I remember)
Now it's the last (thing left on my mind)
Afraid of the dark (do you hear me whisper)
An empty heart (replaced with paranoia)
Where do we go (life's temporary)
After we're gone (like new years resolutions)
Why is this hard (do you recognize me)
I know I'm wrong (but I can't help believing)
~me~ at 4:26 PM Oh my god, i cant believe that i actually played with that board thing. I dont know what you actually call it but i dont know why but i'm getting kinda freaked now. I dont think anything will happen to me but then again. All those people that i told, kept repeating to me that its not safe and all, that its actually the devil, not angels. I got a bit freaked after that.
I only wanted to try it goddamnit, i mean, who wont want to know whether the pencil really moved by itself?! I mean, everyone would want to experience it for themselves right? Who wouldnt want that?! To have that feeling and knowledge that you, yourself know the pencil moves. Why?! Because you experienced it for yourself and basically you are the living and breathing proof. I guess it was a childs curiousity. I know its wrong and everything but i was so fascinated with it that i had to try. I'm not sure whether all it spelled out was true or it wasnt but it was a new experience and frankly speaking, initially i wanted to try it again and again for the sake of knowledge of the future but then again, i'm not sure whether i'm breaking the laws of god... [i sound so holy]
Although my "angel" was nice and friendly and all, in a weird way but i'm still scared that somehow i might make the spirit angry and it will come and haunt me. I will just want to fuck off and die man. I mean, i will freak till freaks cant freak any longer.
I really feel that somehow bad luck will come to me and i will somehow always turn out to be the one who suffers and the one who will end up with the punishments while others do it continuously and yet never perish. I'm just the getter-into-troubler.
I mean, people always notice what i do wrong while other people walk right under their noses unnoticed. Example, my belt, its loose, i mean fuck it, how many galz in the damn school have fucking low belts man?! Theres so many! People with belts even lower than mine but do the teachers or disciplinary bitchwoman notice?! Galz with belts hunging fully below their waists will walk right pass, greet the teacher and get away. But no....... they only want to pick me to pick on and they somehow always recognise my face and they somehow always are able to pick me out from the crowd. I hate it! I always get it, why cant it be someone else?!
*sigh*
Anyway, out of point already man. Either way, i asked a few questions and got answers that seemed possible and so near to the truth. I didnt push the pencil ok! And my friend who held the pencil too didnt move it either, she couldnt have because she doesnt even know the people i was talking about. Its so oh my god man, scary freaky shit. I mean, you can get to know who the hell you will be with next. Scary......
Anyway, i dont think ill play again or anything man but we will see. When the time comes, the tide may change.
Other than playing with that dunno-what board thingy that isnt really a board but a piece of paper, nothing else happened man. Theres nothing better to say, nothing in this shitass world to talk about. I would have made this entry more interesting but then, kinda lazy man. I'm just typing what i would have said in real life so if you are confused, oh baby, i'm so damn sorry but then again, suck it man, that aint my problem...
~me~ at 10:03 PM Today my stupid form teacher freaked out like some maniac, she confiscated a girls handphone, discman and about $60 worth of make up! Like what the fuck?! Who confiscates make up?! There is NO rule in their all mighty book of school rules book that sayz ; "Students cant bring make up to school."
Right?! I mean, really man, what the fuck?! I find that she is a freak, she insults people and thinks shes fierce, she thinks she will earn respect outta that kinda treatment. What a complete freak! She told this girl that is damn shy and all to go to a deaf and dumb school! What a fucking freakster man and she scolded us because we didnt open a door, she said we were stupid and brainless right into my fucking ear. I just stared at her in a "what the fuck" way and as i started to walk away said, "what a freak!" She heard but ignored, i hope she heard anyway. She is a freak, some over reactive freak who has lost her mind completely. I really think in a few months or at the most a years time, she would have gone completely insane or rather she has to take an anger management course.
I think that if ever i have to go counselling for that story of mine, i should kindly with compassion and love, allow my form teacher to take my place because although i would love to go and freak the counsellor out. I really think she is in deep shit and she needs to see the counsellor more so i will kindly help her with the first step, to see a counsellor.
Ohkay, what the fuck... Anyway, today was a weird day, met some of Tara's(my cousins) friends, abit odd but not too bad anyway... Nothing much else to say, going to ciao to sleep soon so good night people. See y'all soon..
Love ya [of course it aint true but anyway...]
~me~ at 9:58 PM Second entry for today; just want to say, the tides have turned, the chess board has been set, pawns are moving and baby, i feel kinda weird now but oh boy it still feels good...
[hahaha... oh my god, i sound like some poet freak]
~me~ at 8:26 PM
So i shouldnt take it as anything positive should i? Nah... Waste my time and effort...
Oh well, just another day it was today. Had to squeeze like shit hell in the bus this morning but i was cool with it because of... *ahem ahem* sorry had to clear my throat. Anyway, i dont know what to say today either, just like every other day.
I just finished talking to this dude from Australia, Sydney, hes 16 now and all. Can you guess how i freaking met him?! I met him through Kazaa while downloading box car racer from him! I mean who chats through kazaa?! Asked him why the hell he would message people through kazaa and he said that he had no life. I mean who says or does that?! It was damn funny but yeah, he's cool and all. Its nice to have some interaction with the world outside this little island of boredom, at least i roughly know how the outer world is functioning. Its nice to hear stuff about Australia too because, yeah for the obvious reason, i roughly know what he's talking about.
Oh well, now kind of missing some of the times i had in Australia but forget about tha kinda shit, its nothing important now...
Gonna ciao for the moment people, talk shit with all y'all another time...
~me~ at 5:22 PM Nothing much happened today, went to school as usual, the looked forward art lesson was a complete bore. The bus ride wasnt any better either, just as fucked up.
I just thought, what a wasted day it is.
For English we had to write a composition, we had 5 boring topics to choose from. I chose number 1) The person i admire the most... and i wrote about a guy, called Ivan Lee, who admired satan. At first he got dumped, he was kicked out of his house because he didnt pay 3 months of rent, he lost his job and a $1000 cheque bounced. That was before he met satan and everything became easier and all, he got everything back. I wrote how much the guy admired him and all.
I think the teachers going to freak and send me off to counselling or something man. I saw her while i was at parkway today and she didnt even look at me, maybe because she knows im the one who wrote that. I mean, i am different but i dont think many people will accept that fact of uniqueness in me. Or my writing for that matter.
Forget it, i'm prepared to go counselling and freak the counsellor. Will be kind of fun and a new experience too, yeah, can write about it here, i mean, if in the end i do go. But i'm not wishing upon that. It will be fun but what a waste of time it is, talking to some freak of a person who pretends to understand how you feel and gives advice as if they were candy. I mean, shut up, you're not me right? You havent walked a mile in my shoes, you havent been where i've been or seen what i have seen, so why dont you shut your fucking mouth. I mean, they think they know it all dont they?! Trained to be pshyciatrists or another words, "I'm a trained pshyciatrist" or "I am a total know it all and im trained too"
I mean not as if i've been to counselling or anything but thats what i would think. The lesbians in my school have to go counselling if they are found out or something, how stupid right. Whatever man...
*sigh* Nothing much else to say man, you see how bored i am, you see all the shit i'm going through, maybe not but ya... I feel damn wasted at the moment, nothing to laugh or joke about and no one to talk shit with. How boring...................
[Mon Jan 12, 02:30 PM]
Just finished burning my mouth with the chilli of some cup tom yam noodles. I didnt realise it was going to be so hot until the point where i was almost done, i started to cry and that was it baby, i had to get rid of it.
Well, i reached home like fucking early today, straight after school, i left and made my way back here, to this boredom motel. I dont exactly remember why i just gave up on meeting anyone and came straight back home but oh well, whats the difference. I think at least once in a week i should do that, come home straight just for the sake of it. I mean, can anyone believe it?! Its my fucking O levels next year!? Not in two years time but next year!!! *sigh* I'm so dead. But i guess it wont be so hard to concentrate this year since chij kc and st pats has decided to make schools opposite one another, to think its better to divide "adam and eve" from one another. [HuH?!]
Oh well, kim, isnt it good?! you can get where you want to get, life is not all fun and games, although you only have one chance of living so you might as well live it up but still...
you cant go around having fun all the time although theres a great possibility that you'd die tomorrow but still...
you really cant go around having fun all the time although your youth is about to be wasted and in your youth is the only time you will experience the true meaning of "fun" but still...
[ok kimberly... shut the hell up]
Anyway, that was my sucky day, tomorrow i have art, looking forward to that and that only. Since some bus person decided to wake up late or wake up earlier today and catch the later or earlier bus [whatever].
So people, catch y'all later...
~me~ at 6:51 PM Today went shoe hunting after church with my cousin.
The shoe that i ended up buying...>>
Initially wanted to buy a similar one that was black leather but then learnt that the damn thing costed over $120 which is like way too much at this point of time. But i'm happy, decided to wear the shoe with the sides folded down because it looks odd with the whole shoe laced up. Oh well, i love it anyway, dont care what y'all think but let me warn you...
"DONT you dare buy the same shoe or i'll literally kill you..."
Today was an ok day i guess, nothing all that exciting happened but oh well, does it ever?
*sigh* theres school tomorrow, how fucked up... Only looking forward to the bus ride there *wink wink* [for those of y'all who know why] anyway, would love to go to sleep soon but i cant. Why?! Because falling asleep would mean a sooner tomorrow and i'd rather it be later than sooner anyway... What am i to do?! I cant do nothing... Well, see y'all soon, hope to have some kind of more "inspirating" entries soon where i'll actually enjoy typing but hell only knows when that will happen...
~me~ at 7:45 PM yo people, well here i am, back again...
Yes yes, i know its a new website yet it looks the same but hey what do you want me to say? i loved my other website and all i wanted to do was give it a lil insy bitsy lil change so here it is. Actually, i think i screwed it more but soon it will look better, i think. I think the picture that came with it looks like damn sluttish but i love her boots, not sure whether to keep it or ditch it...
Anyway, how have y'all been?!
I havent been all too well.
["Why" you ask?] Well, school has started and who is ever really well and sane when that horrific thing starts?! [except the nerds]
Well, yeah, as you have heard, i'm in chij katong convent [im going to be calling it K.C from now on as a short form ok?], that thing called an all GIRLS school. You know, how guyz all seem to have been extinct right up until you get out of the school gate and lo and behold! St patricks is across the road. So near yet so far...
Truthfully speaking, K.C is not exactly the way i pictured it to be. i'm not exactly sure how i had pictured it, i cant remember but then, i'm sure that i didnt think that it was so bitchy and girly as i see it now and either way, i'm hating it...
I hate school, i mean i have always hated it since the time i can remember starting the horrible journey of a students life but then, somehow this is worse. I have an odd feeling that i wont be all that close to the people at K.C or anything because i dont see anyone in the school who share totally the same interests as me.
I feel so damn left out, like some kinda freak, i mean, not really but then i dont exactly know how to explain it.
OhKAY, imagine a school full of tote, cutey, sweet, girly bags and those with guyish sling bags or back packs are either bi, lez or tom boyish.
I carry a guyish sling bag, im not sweet, im not girly, im not cute, then what am i?!
A lez?! NO fucking way! I'm straighter than anything, even a damn ruler is too crooked to be me.
A bi?! Come on i told you how staright i am.
Tom boyish?! Ok, that is not exactly me but i have this strong feeling thats what i come under. How sick... I mean, i dont look like that sort do i?! No i dont but hey i'm not some cutey pie who like to get guyz attention by acting cute and backing my lashes as if im betty lou or something so i guess, you can call me normal or am i abnormal. I dont know, this schools so weird. *sigh...
Imagine living without a close friend for 2 years in some alienated girls school.
Seriously, to all you shitholes who are thinking that transferring school is like so easy and i'm just over reacting well, you can get a freaking life. Its so fucking
hard in a new school. [ESP from a mixed school to an ALL girls school] I hate it! And i hate how my life seem to consist of constantly shifting, moving and
full of making NEW friends. Ohkay, i know i sound like some freak; "i dont like to make new friends" right?! But hey! fuck you! stop judging me, its not my fault im not good at socialising and although i try i still suck. What do you expect me to do?!
Act totally cheery and abnormal in front of a bunch of people who just met me? They probably wouldnt even dare say a word to me after that.
I'm happy that todays a saturday and tomorrows a sunday but once i enjoy today and tomorrow, there will be a whole newer, long and winding week ahead of me. How fucked up...
Well, i dont want to type too much about school because its not exactly nice to talk about and yes, i know this hasnt been a totally cool entry to read but hey, i'm not in the mood... maybe will type another one later yeah?!
I just realised how freaking long this entry already is but oh well, if you dont want to read, why did you even enter?!
Ciao
ps/ heres a song that i have been singing to recently, although its like damn old but still...
Artist: American Hi-Fi
Title: Flavor Of The Week
She paints her nails
And she don't know
He's got her best friend on the phone
She'll wash her her
His dirty clothes are all he gives to her
And he's got posters on the wall
Of all the girls he wish she was
And he means everything to her
Her boyfriend
He don't know
Anything about her
He's too stoned
Nintendo
I wish that i could make her see
She's just the flavor of the week
It's friday night
She's all alone
He's a million miles away
And she's dressed to kill
The TV's on
He's connected to the sound
And he's got pictures on the wall
Of all the girls he's loved before
And she knows all his favortie songs
Her boyfriend
He don't know
Anything about her
He's too stoned
Nintendo
I wish that i could make her see
She's just the flavor of the week
Her boyfriend
He don't know
Anything about her
He's too stoned
He's too sonted
He's too stoned
He's too stoned
Her boyfriend
He don't know
Anything about her, needs
Too stoned
Nintendo
I wish that i could make her see
She's just the flavor of the week
Yeah she's just the flavor of the week
She makes me weak
~me~ at 11:26 AM
~me~ at 5:17 PM umm... this damn layout aint working...
~me~ at 8:21 PM my handphone is gone since 20th February and shall be gone till 20th March dont msg me, you will waste a couple of cents.
La salle turned out a disappointment, on saturday, and so we made the rest of the day fun on its own by doing nothing at all. (had a drinking competition using fruit juice we bought in cartons, i won.)
Bought a couple of things, black skirt, 2 black tops and yeah a wrist band. Wasted money, gonna run out of it soon.
Tomorrow theres school.
I wanna die.
Bored.
~me~ at 9:08 PM Been having freaking CA tests and im screwed till being screwed can never be explained. The kc english marking system is so high that theres a high high high possibility that i am gonng fail my english. How screwed am i? I NEVER ever fail english!!
Havent had the time since monday to come online to type shit here because i have either been banned from the net on that day, i was "busy" doing what i call studying yet you might call, fooling around or i was too tired to wait an hour for this useless computer to set up, connect and sign in.
Tomorrow theres a Chemistry test and i wonder whats going to happen, i can tell you, i have failed my Biology, my Maths and possibly my fucking english!
I seriously think i should shut up and really buck up now, i mean, its all good that ive been fooling around, day dreaming, slacking and all but if i slack any longer, i can say that i am going to die...
The teachers have been threateningly telling us that some of us deserve to drop to NA stream, hopefully her lecture wasnt aimed partiaully at me, i CANNOT drop!!! i mean its not that i have anything against NA students or NA people but i just cant drop, if i was in NA at the start from the time i came back to this country then thats a different story but for someone to drop from express to NA, their freaking pride or ego or whatever would be freaking shattered or if not other peoples mine would...
Oh well, yes i had better pull my freaking self together now shouldnt i? YES... enough play, not that me fooling around and aimlessly day dreaming had gotten me anywhere or anything...
Oh well screw that...
I shall start afresh from next week since the CA's are over and i can stop studying for them but start on the new chapters.
~me~ at 9:23 PM Oh the Mtv awards thingy was ohkay, an alright alternative to spending Valentines day alone or with a date you dont even like in that way. So yeah, but the only performance i actually enjoyed was simple plans. The rest kinda sucked.
Me and my friends were screaming for the sake of screaming then the woman in front looked at us weirdly and we just started to scream in her ear. God we are so mean, her boyfriend/husband/friend/whatever was covering his ears because of us! Man im damn surprised we didnt get a sorethroat the next day... Which we wanted to get but oh well.
Got interviewed by some Thai television reporter which was cool so yeah, we were on Thai tv! Not that we will ever get to see that but oh well...
Oh ya forgot to tell you who i went with, well there was Danielle, Tanya, Kaimana [dont know if its spelt the right way, but i just met her so its excusable], Mathew and Graham! :P so yeah... fun fun fun...
Met up with a couple of other people after the show...
Went mad...
Ate Mc Flurry Oreo...
Went out to the road to flag a cab close to mid night...
Tripped on my heels while walking to the cab [i hate heels but i need to learn to walk in them]...
Sent a totally fucking stupid message to someone which made me want to strangle myself for doing...
Tried to straighten it out...
Went home...
Fell asleep...
And that was my Valentines day...
I swear if Blink comes to singapore i WILL get their tickets because im dying to go to a real concert. Life is so boring now although it seems to be getting more fun than last year so yeah, cool enough but i WANT Blink to come down NOW!!!
ohkay well... thats all for today although all i did was talk bout a day that happened 2 days ago but yeah, nothing much happened on the Sunday nor today so yeah, forget it...
I'll catch y'all some other time...
*Gonna say this again... i swear Blink has to come down!!!
~me~ at 6:53 PM Yesterday was talking shit with this guy called justin on the phone, hes a complete freak man. It was freaking hot yesterday, so i was happily or rather irritatedly complaining bout the weather, "I'm so hot!" Then that shit was like "Thick skinned sia..."
I was like, oh my god ya, i mean, i always knew it sounded like that but then, not many people use the word 'hot' as in hhooottt... last time but now it has a frequent usage in my vocab, 'he's so freaking hot ok!', haha yeah well..
Anyway, after awhile he was like 'i'm so hot!' what a freak right, he just commented on me saying it, then he was like 'no no not that hot, i am so temperature hot!' its like wtf, hahaha, seriously right?
"I am so temperature hot!" <<< who says that in that way, anyway it sounds so... stupid, hahaha... I mean, its like 'hey, im temperature hot' like wtf right? Its as if when its 36 degrees he will be '36 degrees hot' and when its cold that means hes not 'hot.'
Ohkay ohkay, not funny but it seriously was at the time, hahaha... =)
Ohkay whatever... its not funny, i know, you dont need to remind me.
K anyway, then we played truant yesterday from social studies remedial, we skipped it but then kc still calls it truancy. When the teacher walked in the front door then three of us; Anmari, Siwei and me, ran out the back door. Fucking scary man, we almost died. She saw us!! We wrote her a terribly informal note, left it in her pigeon shit hole and left... ["teehehe"ok what the fuck]
We came to school prepared to be brutally slaughtered today but then all that woman said was "Oh you two were not present at the remedial yesterday right? Oh well, its good that you left me a note but then please tell me before hand next time ok?"
My goddamn mouth basically dropped, goddamnit, we were so scared that we almost thought of owning up...
Freakster anyway, yeah that was it...
Kk, today, there was nothing much, got scolding from a teacher for talking and sleeping, somebody didnt go to school. Saint pats had their cross country today at that Mac Ritchie place or something...
I feel so slacking and fuck... Saturday is Valentines = b.o.r.i.n.g... Next week is common tests = double b.o.r.i.n.g
Oh well, ready for the killing? YEAh!
Ohkay well we'll see ya...
Ciao
Ps/ um... i like this song too...
One boy, one girl, two hearts, their world
Time goes by, secrets rise
One more, sad song, tears shed, she's gone
She'd take it back, if she only could
All the perfect words they seem so wrong,
She's gone
You wish that you could learn to see,
The door is closed and yo wish you could be
Alone with you, alone with me
What can I do, I can not breath
My heart is torn, for all to see
Alone with you, alone with me.
Best friend, worst thing, she's been, cheating
Friend deceives, she leaves
Last date. she cries, whispers, goodbye
She walks once more, out that door
Please stay, don't go away
The hardest thing is letting go of you
Stay, don't go away
The hardest thing is letting go of you
what can I do?
Alone with you, alone with me, what can I do
I can not see, alone with, alone with...
~me~ at 6:53 PM Where am i going on Valentines day?!
I'm going to the MTV asia awards shit, man....
Wooooooo.............................
Yay! Cool shit hey, i mean, i cant find anyone i would accept as my date who have already asked me so yup at least i have got somewhere to go man...
It better be as time worthy as i have heard it to be...
~me~ at 8:37 PM Yes, this is a nice song, although i know its quite old but for all y'all who dunno it well then yeah, go download it. Anyway, cant find new nice songs to listen to because my stupid computer soundcard is screwed and i cant listen to nothing except old burnt cd's. Yeah so pity me please...!
Please just don't play with me My paper heart will bleed
This wait for destiny won't do
Be with me please I beseach you
Simple things, that make you run a-way
Catch you if I can
Tears fall, down your face
The taste, is something new
Something that I know
Moving on is, easiest when I am around you.
So bottle up old love,
And throw it out to sea,
Watch it away as you cry
Now a year has past
The seasons go
Please just don't play with me
My paper heart will bleed
This wait for destiny won't do
Be with me please I beseach you
Simple things, that make you run a-way
Catch you if I can
Waiting, day to day it goes through
My lips, are sealed for her
My tongue is,
Tied to, a dream of being with you
To settle for less, is not what I prefer
Summer time, the nights are so long
The leaves fall down, and so do I into
the arms of a friend
Winter nights
My bedside is cold, for I am gone
And spring blossoms you to me
~me~ at 8:32 PM Its my party and i'd cry if i want to...
~me~ at 9:24 PM My birthday tomorrow... well, i dont feel like it is, aint gonna have anything special and yeah... um... boring........
~me~ at 11:55 PM
Went to watch Russell Seah's "crew" [Russell Seah, Graham, Timmy, Justin, Russell Gomez, Sherman, Matt and yeah a few others that im not too sure of the names.] skate yesterday at Bedok. I was sitting there watching them do stunts with Danielle, Anmari and a gal named Cheryl that i just met. Wishing like hell i could be like that too, how cool would it be for a girl to do the same stunts and shit. They would run across on the walls and jump onto their decks then start skating, they'd do ollies and kick flips and shit that i could never do. So damn fucking cool ohkay. I so wanna do that too... But oh well, here i am a BEGINNER!
Anyway, more than enough people have been willing to turn into teachers to teach me so "Yippee" for me.
I went back home at around 8+ and i realise that i think i'm gonna be getting alot more freedom on friday nights so i can watch them all skate then. How fun and soon i'll be comfortable enough to watch them.
So yeah, i'm happy. It seems like we're all in the same "clique" automatically in a weird way. But yeah they're cool so yeah that was my day yesterday.
Today? Well, i'm planning to stay at home the whole day today. Tomorrows my birhtday and im gonna turn fifteen soon but then i still feel fourteen. Gee... time flies.
But then hate birthdays so its not a big deal for me at all.
Anyway yeah, what a boring life i have eh...
Valentines day is near... how "eXcItInG"...
~me~ at 12:52 PM Well today was quite ordinary in a weirder unique way. Went to school, chatting the whole way so that was fun, found someone who went to Aussie-land, Perth, too to study so its nice to see a fellow migrater. Haha ohkay that came out weirdly.
But hey ya, its nice to find someone from perth too rather than bisbane or melbourne or somewhere east of australia.
Anyway, died in school, last night found out alot of things that made me unable to sleep so that affected the way today turned out.
Was lying on my deck for some reason last night, found it fun right up until i tried to get up and scraped my back with the "nail file" like deck top. So yeah, dont try it at home... Wat the fuck...
Ohkay, after school, met Russel, Timothy [Anmari's Boyfriend], Justin and Graham! Went to siglap to eat a bit then took bus back to pasir ris together... but Justin like went home, i think he like lives in Simei or something.
Hung out awhile more and then went home.
I dont know bout you but i found this day, unnaturally unbalanced and odd in a weird way. ?! Ohkay whatever, nevermind, so yeah that was the most uninteresting and fucked up entry ive written since dont know when anyway, bear with me, it was actually quite an interested day yet i just dont have the mood to type it in an interesting way now so yeah
~me~ at 8:06 PM Yeah had quite a fun time yesterday. Went to that audition thing for the fun of going. I dont think i got in because i, myself dont walk well in heels, so yeah they asked me if i would mind being the host. "Hell yeah!" How cool would that be?! Hosting a show?! Its like when i'm older and i wanna be a reporter i can say as experienced that i hosted a show man. Will kick ass i should think...
Yeah anyway, thats cool, realised that walking the cat walk is actually damn hard so yeah, aint no easy thing...
After that went home. My mom's wonderful doing again, i could have gone to orchard and shopped or something but didnt. Why?! Because of the simple fact that she wanted me home because shes just like that. Loves to see me in misery.
I left my house around 6+ to go to town and meet my friends.
[What my mom thought: i was at a girl called michelles birthday party.]
Town was fucking crowded, because of the stupid chingay. Its so lame that parade, maybe only because that was the thing that kinda spoilt a nice day but oh well. Two people actually scolded me man because i was "pushing" them. Its a fucking crowded place, everyone is pushing, dont come with your bullshit that you arent pushing! Because i know you are! If you were so high and you cant have me touching your precious clothes that maybe contaminated with asian dna, well then maybe you should go home and burn them and maybe you should join the kkk and maybe you should go home as in balek kampong!! bastard!
Arguement with some ang mo bastard who thinks he is so high and superior to all around him just because hes some ugly dude with natural blond hair...
bastard: "Can you stop pushing?!?!?!"
me: "Well people behind are pushing!"
bastard: "well tell them to stop!"
me: "Its a crowded place, everybody pushes!"
bastard: "Well, i'm not pushing!"
me: "Well people behind are!!!!"
bastard: [mumbles some shit]
me: "arrogant bastard" [mumbles to my friend]
What the fuck right?! If people are pushing me, can i help but kinda push you?! Its not as if you fell down and smashed your oh so pointy european superior nose on the ground did you?! [i'm so sorry to the minority who arent racist and who have to hear this but if you were me and had to go through racism in australia then trust me! you would understand].
Anyway arguement number two! with some stupid cheena guy who thought maybe he could be some big boss around. That freak!
cheena: "Stop elbowing me!"
me: "I'm not!"
cheena: "Yes you are!"
me: "I should know whether i am or not, its not my elbow!!!"
cheena: "Well i saw you!"
me: "No you didnt! God! Its a crowded place!!!!! Everybody is pushing and elbowing! If you're not prepared for that them why come?!?!"
cheena: [silence]
me: "god whats wrong with some people? Have some problem with life or something?!"
passerby: "haha... just ignore him. He has a huge problem"
I laughed when the passerby said that, man, at least he was on my side. I just find some people around have a huge pole stuck up their damn asses and maybe they need someone to pull it out.
Had a complicated time going to Russel somethings house but got there in the end. I ended up being kinda embarassed because of something or other and yeah. Didnt do much there.
Tanya, Danielle, Anmari and me were super hyper. We ran down the street, bear footed, shouting. Went crazy like hell, lay down on the road laughing non stop. Basically we were drunk from drinking nothing at all...
there was this guy who was drunk at the party. he kept denying he was drunk but he was so obvious. weirdo. he tried to walk in a straight line but just couldnt. it was really really zig zagged. god, hope i dont talk so much rubbish to strangers if im drunk.
After that...
Kinda boring but yeah man, loved his room completely, i'm so jealous of it.
Hes got like this room with a tilted roof and graffitied walls thats costed him a bomb! God hes so damn lucky! How i wish i had such money and he had a whole drum set and stuff man.
God.... wish that was my room.
Yeah and i reached home 12+, the latest ive reached home from anywhere, and yeah that was my day...
It was fun but in a screwed up way man. But i wouldnt mind doing it again. I ran around in heels and stuff, i mean who does that. I have so many little details to write about yesterday but i really couldnt be bothered. This is just a rough summary. So if it sounded dull and boring well, at times it was because it was partially screwed and partially not so yeah.
Anyway, it was one of the most fun days i had this year so yeah im happy...
~me~ at 10:57 PM ohkay coming to terms with reality.
I have just realised that i swear too much nowadays man, i dont know why. Maybe its because everything that i seem to write in here is something i was frustrated about and it was never anything good. I dont know. I better cool it man.
Well, yeah i'm here again, nothing much to report on as usual, only little bits and pieces that dont concern you at all.
Today the gal next to me lost that gal in front of me's glue cover/lid/thing, yeah anyway, i was just there, patiently waiting for the cat fight to start and for me to somehow get involved yet not exactly do much to get myslef involved in it. But woo wee... it didnt, she seemed so forgiving today. Maybe she realised that god wants us to forgive and forget [ok that was lame] or maybe because the gal next to me was so apologetic that she insisted on buying her a totally new glue stick. But all that i know is that, the bitch fight didnt start, i didnt somehow end up getting part of the blame and yeah... school sucked.
Some stupid crow flew into my class today and hit the damn fan. What kind of stupidity is that?! Flying into a class and hitting a rotating solid, hard, thing stuck to the ceiling. This just shows that maybe some creatures were born with no brains. The girls screamed and ran, i was laughing and running because yeah i obviously didnt want it to fly onto my head or shit on me or anything. Its such a stupid thing...
Anyway yeah thats my day...
Fun hey?!
I wonder whats with some people and Valentines day? Why ask about it so early? I mean, we got a whole two weeks plus ahead so think about it, why make conclusions now. Anyway, this Valentines day will be err... i'm not sure, probably odd, actually i wonder how i'll spend it because basically the last Valentines days i had a boyfriend so that was obviously settled. Otherwise yeah, go with the flow, i'll just see...
Ohkay whatever... looky here, i managed not to say fuck in this whole entry apart from that last word but anyway. I'm so bored... Nothing much else to say...
Um... well see ya then...
~me~ at 7:57 PM you know what i scored for my satanic compo?! A fucking 12/30 ohkay!!!! my first time failing a damn compo!!! i felt like crying man... what the hell?! at the least i would normally get an 18 0r 19 but hell i would have passed, always... always till now... what the fuck is with the schools standard. Like everyone failed ohkay. I wouldnt have cared if i got a 15 but not a fucking fail!!
What the hell is up with that?
Seriously man... felt like crying... I NEVER fail!!!
Oh my god ohkay so i better chill it and shut up now.
God its so boring... i wish i could just die...
I'm so fed up with it all. Look at life... look at the people [one example in my old blog the tag board, that mattfromblogsurfing, what the fuck is up with him? can he leave other peoples fucked up lives along?!]... whats up with the whole world... where is the love man... hehehe... there is none!
Ohkay what the fuck is wrong with me? Nothing man...
Anyway... i hate the world... may it jst end right here right................... NOW! ohkay fine that didnt work.. what ever the hell... im going now... wasting my time writing as usual. wasted my time and yours but i have time i bet you dont. oh im so sorry...
Anyway since you're already here... good night, sweet dreams, take care..
Ohkay whatever, cut the mushy shit and yeah bye...
~me~ at 10:37 PM Went skating today, with some people from school, had quite an ohkay sum of fun... Realise it wasnt so bad learning but then again, kinda still sucked at it. Need practice but it was quite fun.
I mean apart from being damn slow thanks to having to carry my wallet and handphone in my hand all the way and because of these two objects i was being extra cautious about falling which made me even more slow but other than that, it was cool, quite ohkay.
But oh man, the weather just sucked! It was raining... what a day to rain man. Just when we decide to go skating, so unfortunate. I hope the damn trucks and bearings dont rust otherwise i'll just die...
Fucking $193 bucks man anyway, that was my day, just so y'all will get familiar with the names of the people i skate with, there was Danielle, Hobday, Tanya, Benny and Nigel. Those are the main ones that will most probably be mentioned again so yeah, this is where they first came in.
Ohkay whatever anyway, i'm so happy its the holiday, so so happy but it seems that this stupid holiday will be over just like that and before i know it, i'll be going back to school. And there are no next holidays as long as this one, which although its 2 extra off days from school but still their holidays...
Oh man, i hate school, never want to go back...
I just want to complain like hell about school again but i better not or i will never ever get use to going back to school...
Ohkay i have a feeling that this entry doesnt exactly makes sense, well then, i'm sorry because im inna i couldnt give a fuck mood for some reason so i'll see y'all tomorrow or what ohkay...
bye
ps/ i think i know why im in this what the fuck mood now, its because theres once AGAIN some shitass problem with this shitass computer. I really hate it... I mean didnt we just fix this fucking thing?! Didnt we?!?!?! Stupid piece of shit, seriously, i feel like killing it and i would if i had the money to buy another one... but what the fuck man right?! We just fixed it! We just fixed you, you shitass motherfucking thing! but no............... you must give problem again... once AGAIN...
ohkay fine, just forget it, i'm losing it...
[Haha... oh my god, i think i really am]
~me~ at 10:32 PM Managed to skip school yesterday again which was great because yeah, somehow it was better than going and watching some stupid concert in school. I heard that 20/40+ people in my class didnt turn up yesterday so yeah, that makes it half the damn class absent so well done to all my fellow classmates for now showing up. It just shows who are the geeks and who aint. And who kick ass and who doesnt. And who is goody goody and who isnt and... Ohkay kimberly, shut up.
Aha anyway, had steamboat for reunion dinner, quite nice i must say. Quite enjoyed it...
After that went to Tara's friends chalet which turned out kinda boring but nevermind, met a few people there so it was... ohkay i guess. But then... come to think of it, it was boring. I have nothing good to say about it, maybe only the meeting some people part but then otherwise it was still boring. We dint do nothing but ohkay forget it at least i got out of the house right? Yes but then again come to think of it i'd have rather stayed at home and used the computer but ohkay forget it, lets drop this subject man...
Heres for today, its about almost 1130 in the morning and i already collected $64+ i think. To all those cheena, chinese people out there, yes i know my sum of money is a pathetic collection but hey! my mom only has one brutha and no other siblings, my fathers side dont really celebrate and so please realise that y'all are chinese and i aint. Eurasians arent so enthusiastic. So yeah, y'all better like collect over 200 bucks man.
Anyway gonna go out with my family today, not too sure of the plans but aha yeah i think it wont be too bad people. Yeah so its not even really the afternoon and yet i already have stuff to type, how cool is that man... It aint such a boring day after all.
Gonna be skating tomorrow, wish me luck y'all. Man, i'm gonna die but oh well, let it be an honourable death. Ohkay what the fuck...
Anyway before i go, happy cheena new year to all y'all people celebrating k?
Ciao
ps/ um... ohkay although i still love blinks music but i decided to put in some lyrics from some other band. Because i find that it will get boring if i always put in the same bands lyrics over and over. I like this song by Dashboard Confessional called "So long sweet summers" but then i cant find the lyrics, how shittish man. How can they not have the lyrics?! So decided to put in another song by Dashboard so yeah... what else? um... nothing i guess except yeah enjoy.
I'm missing your bed
I never sleep
Avoiding the spots where we'd have to speak,
And this bottle of beast
Is taking me home
I'm cuddling close
To blankets and sheets
But you're not alone, and you're not discreet
Make sure i know who's taking you home.
I'm reading your note over again
There's not a word that i comprehend,
Except when you signed it
"i will love you always and forever."
Well as for now i'm gonna hear the saddest songs
And sit alone and wonder
How you're making out
But as for me, i wish that i were anywhere with anyone
Making out.
I'm missing your laugh
How did it break?
And when did your eyes begin to look fake?
I hope you're as happy as you 're pretending.
I am alone
In my defeat i wish i knew you were safely at home
I'm missing your bed
I never sleep
Avoiding the spots where we'd have speak, and
This bottle of beast is taking me home.
Your hair, it's everywhere.
Screaming infidelities
And taking its wear.
[repeat four times]
~me~ at 11:28 AM Stayed at home today, far away from the complications and bitchiness of school. I dont want them to see me today or rather i dont want to see them today. Let it be a day where i have no contact with "those" people.
I dont know what drove me to picking this day to fake it sick and stay at home, i guess for one thing i didnt want to do P.E today especially for i find it is useless. I cant run because my school shoes are too loose and they always fall out. I dont want to play any sports in particular because it seems that i'm the only one who wants to be enthusiastic about it. I mean, no one else puts effort and even when i put in the slightest insy little effort on my part, i can beat those little effortless people by a mile. There just isnt enough competition in my class that makes me eager to do P.E. So thats basically the most major reason why i didnt want to go school in particular today.
The other reason or reasons are that theres a chem test and although i know i'll pass it because the topic is an easy topic but then i'm just simply not in the mood for it today. And the last but not least reason is that i just had to get away from the quarrels, bitchiness and noise of my class so yeah, here i am, back where i started...
Nothing great so far, now back at school my wonderful classmates should be still sitting sweating in the hall trying to get through their assembly without dying or getting caught for low belts, hair pins, hair ties, socks, shoes, blah blah blah etc etc. They should watch out more today because i'm not there to distract the teachers attention. While here i am, enjoying Blink's music and slacking like a slacker should be...
So far i still consider the day young so all i did was wake up, eat a bun with sausages, try out my skateboard in my small cramped up house and come here to this website to type out the meaningless things i did today that would not mean much to all y'all readers.
I realised that i now know roughly how to turn my well treasured skateboard. And i learnt that right here in my own little house. I just went back and forth back and forth... zoom... zoom... zoom...
I bet the neighbours downstairs got irritated for that few minutes but i dont give a damn. Anyway, kinda happy that i figured it out, at least i wont be as pathetic as i expected to be... I think i'll still be pathetic but then again not as pathetic as before.
Chinese new year is coming?! So? Like what has that got to do with anything? Um... i dont give much of a damn about it anyway... Not say i'll get a heap of money from people or anything, basically just gonna be celebrating it on my mothers side so yeah, if theres no party then there shall be no money. Either way i probably just get like what? A miserable $30 at the least. Oh well, never really depended on this celebration for much money income... I'm jus happy i have an extra two days clumped up to form a long weekend but i bet it will end faster than anything. Oh well, one more day of school, tomorrow, to bear with till the 4 day weekend. I think i'll live dont you?!
ps/ um... i dont care gonna put some lyrics on. Yeah, um... like this song too. Actually love the whole new album by Blink so aha... guess most of the lyrics i put on are gonna be by them...
All her signals are getting lost in the ether, she's a landslide with a city beneath her
So take a good look, so you'll never forget it (That's what she wanted)
Take a deep breath, I know I'm gonna regret it (That's what she wanted)
Holly's looking dry looking for an easy target
Let her slit my throat give her ammo if she'll use it
Caution on the road lies lies and hidden danger.
Southern California's breeding mommy's little monster.
She's got a mission, and I'm collateral damage. (That's what she wanted)
She's the flower that you place on my casket. (That's what she wanted)
Savor the moment cause the memory's fleeting.
Take a photograph, as the last train is leaving.
Holly's looking dry looking for an easy target
Let her slit my throat give her ammo if she'll use it
Caution on the road lies lies and hidden danger.
Southern California's breeding mommy's little monster.
Better run run run run run (Holly let me out)
Better run run run run run (Holly let me out)
Better run run run run run (Holly let me out)
Better run run run run run run run (Holly let me out)
~me~ at 1:11 PM Went to school like a zombie as usual. Realised i didnt put enough gel in my hair to keep it looking neat, only being enlightened about it when i reached the school toilet but oh well, took a look around and realised, i'm in a girls school, looks dont matter...
Forgot to bring my literature book today, almost died, i was like hiding behind an exercise book the whole lesson because it was only one period but if she caught me with no text book i would have just died, as in stood up said "Sorry Mrs Devi, i forgot to bring" she would yell, she would scream, chuck a huge fit, and yeap, i'd have died just like that, right then and there, blood would have been spilled and just in that moment, snap! dead...
Ohkay what the fuck am i saying...?!
Boy, didnt know girls could be so bitchy, i mean, i'm a girl but then fuck it man. I didnt realise that girls could be so bitchy, i mean this girl in front of me was quarrelling with the girl next to me and there i was as the middle man or woman or girl or whatever... Tryna act cool, tryna mind my own business and not get involved but no.............
Of course the girl next to me would complain to me right?! I mean its just human nature and all i did was give little slight nods of the head so that i would satisfy her need of my response. But what i learnt today was that girls are just too damn bitchy nowadays. That girl in front, took it out on me in the end in that sort of fucked up way. Its like "I am fucked up with you too because you consoled her..."
Like what the fucking hell?! You stupid bitchass woman! You think i wanna be in this fucking school?! You think im enjoying the fucking ALL girls school life?! I hate it!!!! I hate y'all to hell all you shitass bitches of the lesbian and bisexual matigra! [sorry i dont mean any offence to y'all but like i dont know why i just needed to say that line].
What the fuck!!!!? I hate girls! They can never take anything sanely, they cant take jokes. Not even an insy lil joke... like what the fuck right?!
I mean, i know im overexaggerating now but fuck it... you dont know what i'm going through do you?! I hate the way they bitch, i hate the way they back stab, i hate the way they criticise, i hate the way they can give but they cant take [meaning they cant take jokes], i hate the way they suck up, i hate the way they are so goody goody two shoes, i hate the way they react to those little things, i hate the way they scream and shout, i hate the way they are so girly and most of all i hate the way that i dont fit in at all in anywhere...
They just dont know how much i despise most of them. They find out i wanna learn how to do guyish things and they laugh and scorn but HELL-LO, ladies! pel-lease... like shut the fuck up here aint it my life?! Ohkay anyway, forget about that little mishap there...
I went out with some dude from my cousins school, hes cute and all man! And moreover he's Catholic! We went to eat, guess where?! Swensens, like woah... he paid for it, bill came up to around $40. Then we walked around, you know those little cutey adidas shoes for little children that are so fucking cute, yeah... I said they were damn cute and you know what? He bought a pair, gave me one and kept the other. So nice right?! Anyway love them... He's nice and all, but then again, kinda arrogant because he's like some top athelete in swimming, was supposed to go to that sports school but dont know why he didnt.
But all in all, not really upset with being single. Single is the status of a person who is free to do anything she or he wants and thats what i am and i'm fine with that at the moment [till it comes to V day and i realise that i dont like anyone which is kinda sad but oh well, who cares?!].
Well that was my day, kinda long entry aint it today? Was thinking of putting in some song lyrics but then... Um... I guess firstly my entry is damn long already and secondly because i realise i have become close to a download station so i have decided not to add in song lyrics or at least for today. Anyway, see y'all soon.
~me~ at 7:07 PM Bought a Status skateboard today, quite nice but then... Costly... 193 bucks! But then again i'm happy with it.
Yeah man, i'm gonna learn how to skate, like can you believe it? I'm actually for real gonna learn, like in real life, not in my dreams but in real life man. Hahaha... ohkay im over exaggerating.
Went with kelly and desmond to church [olps 10 today]...
After church had lunch at pizza hut, yummy lasagne...
Split up...
Me and kelly went to orchard peninsula first...
Went to the wrong peninsula building like what the fuck right?! Theres peninsula plaza and another peninsula...
Finally found Spitfire, got a horrible look from the muhd boy when i asked about the decks and i was like what the fuck man, galz can be skaters too...
Got disappointed...
Went to far east, almost got lost on the way there [damn stupid]...
Went to sponge...
Talked to the attendant awhile, he started tryna scare me with how i'm gonna die when i skate because im gonna get alot of scars...
Looked for Hypno...
Decided there was nothing...
Went into liquid...
Realised it was connected to sponge...
Went to check my atm balance...
Was pissed because i found out there wasnt enough to buy the skate board...
Kelly lent me $20...
Went up, debated over it in front of the attendant and finally with so much hesitation i decided to go for it...
So... yeah baby, i own a skateboard... how cool is that man or at least its cool for me. I had to walk around orchard with the thing today and everyone was staring like "what the fuck is she doing with that." at least i was wearing jeans, imagine, i initially wanted to wear a skirt, how many evil and poserish looks would i get then but all in all... i was damn happy today so yeap... thank god for this day [wtf]
Anyway, wish me luck with the skating thing and yeah pray that i dont fall and break my leg or have any horrible scars because ima girl, dont wanna regret starting this thing right.
Nope so yeah man... hope i can get real good and all but as for now... pathetic, i cant even balance on the deck properly but will do it eventually. Anyway its late theres school tomorrow. How fucked up...
Anyway ciao... good night...
~me~ at 9:18 PM Skating... [as in skate boarding], issit it something suitable for girls to do?! I want to learn seriously and since i got people wanting to teach me, why not? But then what would people say? What would people think? Wannabe? Poser?
I've wanted to learn for ages and now that i have a chance why the hell am i thinking twice and hesitating?! I should go out right now and buy a deck at this moment. I mean fuck it, who gives a fuck what people think right, as long as i'm having fun and enjoying it but what if i break my leg? What if i get injured.
Ohkay, i think i should just stuff that and do it right?! Yes... Kim, you better do it before you regret it again like how you could have learnt to skate ages ago in Aussie but no......... you had to be shy, you had to be a coward and now heres your second chance so yup, you better shut the fuck up and take the risk and chances of embarassment and humiliation in front of people you dont even know. In front of people that could ruin your reputation. But who cares? Im going to do it so here we go...
I feel like going out and buying a deck now, like right now at this moment so that i can say, looky here people i OWN a deck. I'm going to be a skater [i'm not going to say skatergirl because that sounds fucking poser-rish]
Anyway, kinda excited to learn so yeah, wish me luck and all...
~me~ at 10:10 PM
Oooh... i love this shitass song man, i can play it over and over again and again with out end. Obesession has taken over. Although y'all may not like it...
This is the first (thing I remember)
Now it's the last (thing left on my mind)
Afraid of the dark (do you hear me whisper)
An empty heart (replaced with paranoia)
Where do we go (life's temporary)
After we're gone (like new years resolutions)
Why is this hard (do you recognize me)
I know I'm wrong (but I can't help believing)
I'm so lost
I'm barely here
I wish I could explain myself
But words escape me
It's too late
To save me
You're too late
You're too late
You're cold with disappointment
While I'm drowning in the next room
The last contagious victim of this plague between us
I'm sick with apprehension
I'm crippled from exhaustion
And I dread the moment when you finally come to kill me
This is the first (thing I remember)
Now it's the last (thing left on my mind)
Afraid of the dark (do you hear me whisper)
An empty heart (replaced with paranoia)
Where do we go (life's temporary)
After we're gone (like new years resolutions)
Why is this hard (do you recognize me)
I know I'm wrong (but I can't help believing)
~me~ at 4:26 PM Oh my god, i cant believe that i actually played with that board thing. I dont know what you actually call it but i dont know why but i'm getting kinda freaked now. I dont think anything will happen to me but then again. All those people that i told, kept repeating to me that its not safe and all, that its actually the devil, not angels. I got a bit freaked after that.
I only wanted to try it goddamnit, i mean, who wont want to know whether the pencil really moved by itself?! I mean, everyone would want to experience it for themselves right? Who wouldnt want that?! To have that feeling and knowledge that you, yourself know the pencil moves. Why?! Because you experienced it for yourself and basically you are the living and breathing proof. I guess it was a childs curiousity. I know its wrong and everything but i was so fascinated with it that i had to try. I'm not sure whether all it spelled out was true or it wasnt but it was a new experience and frankly speaking, initially i wanted to try it again and again for the sake of knowledge of the future but then again, i'm not sure whether i'm breaking the laws of god... [i sound so holy]
Although my "angel" was nice and friendly and all, in a weird way but i'm still scared that somehow i might make the spirit angry and it will come and haunt me. I will just want to fuck off and die man. I mean, i will freak till freaks cant freak any longer.
I really feel that somehow bad luck will come to me and i will somehow always turn out to be the one who suffers and the one who will end up with the punishments while others do it continuously and yet never perish. I'm just the getter-into-troubler.
I mean, people always notice what i do wrong while other people walk right under their noses unnoticed. Example, my belt, its loose, i mean fuck it, how many galz in the damn school have fucking low belts man?! Theres so many! People with belts even lower than mine but do the teachers or disciplinary bitchwoman notice?! Galz with belts hunging fully below their waists will walk right pass, greet the teacher and get away. But no....... they only want to pick me to pick on and they somehow always recognise my face and they somehow always are able to pick me out from the crowd. I hate it! I always get it, why cant it be someone else?!
*sigh*
Anyway, out of point already man. Either way, i asked a few questions and got answers that seemed possible and so near to the truth. I didnt push the pencil ok! And my friend who held the pencil too didnt move it either, she couldnt have because she doesnt even know the people i was talking about. Its so oh my god man, scary freaky shit. I mean, you can get to know who the hell you will be with next. Scary......
Anyway, i dont think ill play again or anything man but we will see. When the time comes, the tide may change.
Other than playing with that dunno-what board thingy that isnt really a board but a piece of paper, nothing else happened man. Theres nothing better to say, nothing in this shitass world to talk about. I would have made this entry more interesting but then, kinda lazy man. I'm just typing what i would have said in real life so if you are confused, oh baby, i'm so damn sorry but then again, suck it man, that aint my problem...
~me~ at 10:03 PM Today my stupid form teacher freaked out like some maniac, she confiscated a girls handphone, discman and about $60 worth of make up! Like what the fuck?! Who confiscates make up?! There is NO rule in their all mighty book of school rules book that sayz ; "Students cant bring make up to school."
Right?! I mean, really man, what the fuck?! I find that she is a freak, she insults people and thinks shes fierce, she thinks she will earn respect outta that kinda treatment. What a complete freak! She told this girl that is damn shy and all to go to a deaf and dumb school! What a fucking freakster man and she scolded us because we didnt open a door, she said we were stupid and brainless right into my fucking ear. I just stared at her in a "what the fuck" way and as i started to walk away said, "what a freak!" She heard but ignored, i hope she heard anyway. She is a freak, some over reactive freak who has lost her mind completely. I really think in a few months or at the most a years time, she would have gone completely insane or rather she has to take an anger management course.
I think that if ever i have to go counselling for that story of mine, i should kindly with compassion and love, allow my form teacher to take my place because although i would love to go and freak the counsellor out. I really think she is in deep shit and she needs to see the counsellor more so i will kindly help her with the first step, to see a counsellor.
Ohkay, what the fuck... Anyway, today was a weird day, met some of Tara's(my cousins) friends, abit odd but not too bad anyway... Nothing much else to say, going to ciao to sleep soon so good night people. See y'all soon..
Love ya [of course it aint true but anyway...]
~me~ at 9:58 PM Second entry for today; just want to say, the tides have turned, the chess board has been set, pawns are moving and baby, i feel kinda weird now but oh boy it still feels good...
[hahaha... oh my god, i sound like some poet freak]
~me~ at 8:26 PM
Ohkay, firstly, it is true that when someone keeps looking at you, it doesnt mean they like you or are interested as you, does it? I mean, there could be a million reasons why they would want to stare at you or even glance at you a few times...
So i shouldnt take it as anything positive should i? Nah... Waste my time and effort...
Oh well, just another day it was today. Had to squeeze like shit hell in the bus this morning but i was cool with it because of... *ahem ahem* sorry had to clear my throat. Anyway, i dont know what to say today either, just like every other day.
I just finished talking to this dude from Australia, Sydney, hes 16 now and all. Can you guess how i freaking met him?! I met him through Kazaa while downloading box car racer from him! I mean who chats through kazaa?! Asked him why the hell he would message people through kazaa and he said that he had no life. I mean who says or does that?! It was damn funny but yeah, he's cool and all. Its nice to have some interaction with the world outside this little island of boredom, at least i roughly know how the outer world is functioning. Its nice to hear stuff about Australia too because, yeah for the obvious reason, i roughly know what he's talking about.
Oh well, now kind of missing some of the times i had in Australia but forget about tha kinda shit, its nothing important now...
Gonna ciao for the moment people, talk shit with all y'all another time...
~me~ at 5:22 PM Nothing much happened today, went to school as usual, the looked forward art lesson was a complete bore. The bus ride wasnt any better either, just as fucked up.
I just thought, what a wasted day it is.
For English we had to write a composition, we had 5 boring topics to choose from. I chose number 1) The person i admire the most... and i wrote about a guy, called Ivan Lee, who admired satan. At first he got dumped, he was kicked out of his house because he didnt pay 3 months of rent, he lost his job and a $1000 cheque bounced. That was before he met satan and everything became easier and all, he got everything back. I wrote how much the guy admired him and all.
I think the teachers going to freak and send me off to counselling or something man. I saw her while i was at parkway today and she didnt even look at me, maybe because she knows im the one who wrote that. I mean, i am different but i dont think many people will accept that fact of uniqueness in me. Or my writing for that matter.
Forget it, i'm prepared to go counselling and freak the counsellor. Will be kind of fun and a new experience too, yeah, can write about it here, i mean, if in the end i do go. But i'm not wishing upon that. It will be fun but what a waste of time it is, talking to some freak of a person who pretends to understand how you feel and gives advice as if they were candy. I mean, shut up, you're not me right? You havent walked a mile in my shoes, you havent been where i've been or seen what i have seen, so why dont you shut your fucking mouth. I mean, they think they know it all dont they?! Trained to be pshyciatrists or another words, "I'm a trained pshyciatrist" or "I am a total know it all and im trained too"
I mean not as if i've been to counselling or anything but thats what i would think. The lesbians in my school have to go counselling if they are found out or something, how stupid right. Whatever man...
*sigh* Nothing much else to say man, you see how bored i am, you see all the shit i'm going through, maybe not but ya... I feel damn wasted at the moment, nothing to laugh or joke about and no one to talk shit with. How boring...................
[Mon Jan 12, 02:30 PM]
Just finished burning my mouth with the chilli of some cup tom yam noodles. I didnt realise it was going to be so hot until the point where i was almost done, i started to cry and that was it baby, i had to get rid of it.
Well, i reached home like fucking early today, straight after school, i left and made my way back here, to this boredom motel. I dont exactly remember why i just gave up on meeting anyone and came straight back home but oh well, whats the difference. I think at least once in a week i should do that, come home straight just for the sake of it. I mean, can anyone believe it?! Its my fucking O levels next year!? Not in two years time but next year!!! *sigh* I'm so dead. But i guess it wont be so hard to concentrate this year since chij kc and st pats has decided to make schools opposite one another, to think its better to divide "adam and eve" from one another. [HuH?!]
Oh well, kim, isnt it good?! you can get where you want to get, life is not all fun and games, although you only have one chance of living so you might as well live it up but still...
you cant go around having fun all the time although theres a great possibility that you'd die tomorrow but still...
you really cant go around having fun all the time although your youth is about to be wasted and in your youth is the only time you will experience the true meaning of "fun" but still...
[ok kimberly... shut the hell up]
Anyway, that was my sucky day, tomorrow i have art, looking forward to that and that only. Since some bus person decided to wake up late or wake up earlier today and catch the later or earlier bus [whatever].
So people, catch y'all later...
~me~ at 6:51 PM Today went shoe hunting after church with my cousin.
The shoe that i ended up buying...>>
Initially wanted to buy a similar one that was black leather but then learnt that the damn thing costed over $120 which is like way too much at this point of time. But i'm happy, decided to wear the shoe with the sides folded down because it looks odd with the whole shoe laced up. Oh well, i love it anyway, dont care what y'all think but let me warn you...
"DONT you dare buy the same shoe or i'll literally kill you..."
Today was an ok day i guess, nothing all that exciting happened but oh well, does it ever?
*sigh* theres school tomorrow, how fucked up... Only looking forward to the bus ride there *wink wink* [for those of y'all who know why] anyway, would love to go to sleep soon but i cant. Why?! Because falling asleep would mean a sooner tomorrow and i'd rather it be later than sooner anyway... What am i to do?! I cant do nothing... Well, see y'all soon, hope to have some kind of more "inspirating" entries soon where i'll actually enjoy typing but hell only knows when that will happen...
~me~ at 7:45 PM yo people, well here i am, back again...
Yes yes, i know its a new website yet it looks the same but hey what do you want me to say? i loved my other website and all i wanted to do was give it a lil insy bitsy lil change so here it is. Actually, i think i screwed it more but soon it will look better, i think. I think the picture that came with it looks like damn sluttish but i love her boots, not sure whether to keep it or ditch it...
Anyway, how have y'all been?!
I havent been all too well.
["Why" you ask?] Well, school has started and who is ever really well and sane when that horrific thing starts?! [except the nerds]
Well, yeah, as you have heard, i'm in chij katong convent [im going to be calling it K.C from now on as a short form ok?], that thing called an all GIRLS school. You know, how guyz all seem to have been extinct right up until you get out of the school gate and lo and behold! St patricks is across the road. So near yet so far...
Truthfully speaking, K.C is not exactly the way i pictured it to be. i'm not exactly sure how i had pictured it, i cant remember but then, i'm sure that i didnt think that it was so bitchy and girly as i see it now and either way, i'm hating it...
I hate school, i mean i have always hated it since the time i can remember starting the horrible journey of a students life but then, somehow this is worse. I have an odd feeling that i wont be all that close to the people at K.C or anything because i dont see anyone in the school who share totally the same interests as me.
I feel so damn left out, like some kinda freak, i mean, not really but then i dont exactly know how to explain it.
OhKAY, imagine a school full of tote, cutey, sweet, girly bags and those with guyish sling bags or back packs are either bi, lez or tom boyish.
I carry a guyish sling bag, im not sweet, im not girly, im not cute, then what am i?!
A lez?! NO fucking way! I'm straighter than anything, even a damn ruler is too crooked to be me.
A bi?! Come on i told you how staright i am.
Tom boyish?! Ok, that is not exactly me but i have this strong feeling thats what i come under. How sick... I mean, i dont look like that sort do i?! No i dont but hey i'm not some cutey pie who like to get guyz attention by acting cute and backing my lashes as if im betty lou or something so i guess, you can call me normal or am i abnormal. I dont know, this schools so weird. *sigh...
Imagine living without a close friend for 2 years in some alienated girls school.
Seriously, to all you shitholes who are thinking that transferring school is like so easy and i'm just over reacting well, you can get a freaking life. Its so fucking
hard in a new school. [ESP from a mixed school to an ALL girls school] I hate it! And i hate how my life seem to consist of constantly shifting, moving and
full of making NEW friends. Ohkay, i know i sound like some freak; "i dont like to make new friends" right?! But hey! fuck you! stop judging me, its not my fault im not good at socialising and although i try i still suck. What do you expect me to do?!
Act totally cheery and abnormal in front of a bunch of people who just met me? They probably wouldnt even dare say a word to me after that.
I'm happy that todays a saturday and tomorrows a sunday but once i enjoy today and tomorrow, there will be a whole newer, long and winding week ahead of me. How fucked up...
Well, i dont want to type too much about school because its not exactly nice to talk about and yes, i know this hasnt been a totally cool entry to read but hey, i'm not in the mood... maybe will type another one later yeah?!
I just realised how freaking long this entry already is but oh well, if you dont want to read, why did you even enter?!
Ciao
ps/ heres a song that i have been singing to recently, although its like damn old but still...
Title: Flavor Of The Week
She paints her nails
And she don't know
He's got her best friend on the phone
She'll wash her her
His dirty clothes are all he gives to her
And he's got posters on the wall
Of all the girls he wish she was
And he means everything to her
Her boyfriend
He don't know
Anything about her
He's too stoned
Nintendo
I wish that i could make her see
She's just the flavor of the week
It's friday night
She's all alone
He's a million miles away
And she's dressed to kill
The TV's on
He's connected to the sound
And he's got pictures on the wall
Of all the girls he's loved before
And she knows all his favortie songs
Her boyfriend
He don't know
Anything about her
He's too stoned
Nintendo
I wish that i could make her see
She's just the flavor of the week
Her boyfriend
He don't know
Anything about her
He's too stoned
He's too sonted
He's too stoned
He's too stoned
Her boyfriend
He don't know
Anything about her, needs
Too stoned
Nintendo
I wish that i could make her see
She's just the flavor of the week
Yeah she's just the flavor of the week
She makes me weak
~me~ at 11:26 AM